How do we build it?
How do we develop it?
What do we really mean by that oft uttered phrase, 'I trust you'?
This feels like a very pertinent question right now, not only for me personally as I deconstruct my relational habits and the particular familial lens I can look through, but politically as we ask ourselves as a nation, are we 'IN' or are we 'OUT' of that much bigger relationship?
I am happy to confess I am no great political animal, debates by elected representatives of the day unless they are offered by a particularly skilled orator, can often leave me cold, and the minutiae of bills and white papers definitely sends me running for the hills. From my particular perspective as an occasional commentator on the human condition, (usually half way into the second glass of red) this latest round of rhetoric could be likened to a squabble between pre-schoolers, over the age old question of to share or not to share.
Now please don't misunderstand me, I do get that the issues at stake are complex and shouldn't be trivialised but when I consider the many arguments for and against, I simply don't wish to live in and with an island mentality. I can't help but feel that when we strip away all the complexities of budgets, bills and whose bringing what to the table, what this ultimately boils down to is can we trust ourselves and others enough to share honestly and authentically? Can we not only step beyond ourselves but be still enough to truly listen, looking into our hearts from the place of our shared humanity, as opposed to our border differences.
I know its hard . . there are times when each one of us simply wants to run away, bolt the door, switch off the phone and hide under the duvet . . . trusting ourselves and others takes time, energy, commitment and love, like tending a garden, turn your back for too long and the slugs have had it all . . . so yes, I appreciate that for each of us there can be moments when we feel we are being 'done to' as Patrick Stewart character tries to explain here, but as Satish Kumar recently said, "Before we are American, or Russian, Chinese or Japanese, Christian, or Muslim, Hindu or Buddhist, black or white, we are members of one human tribe and one earth community." Or in this case, before we are English, British, German or French we are simply one humanity, and one humanity with the global challenges of food and famine, war and peace, resource depletion and climate change. We cannot hope to address these things in isolation and those that think we can are simply deluding themselves. There is no drawbridge to pull up or wall to build that will stop these issues reaching into each and every one of our lives in some way shape or form.
So for me, whilst I am undoubtedly, as my friends would testify, in some ways extremely English, I am also very European, both in heritage and nature, so yes, its not easy to deconstruct my own beliefs and drivers as I am attempting to do in the therapists chair, but as I continue to explore this process, I know I am, like this wonderful video demonstrates, more a member of a global community than any individual religion, race or belief system.